New Journey into Uncharted Territories...

I never considered myself an alcoholic. I still don't. I am not one of those people who "blacks out" on a regular basis, drunk and stumble in a gutter, throwing up in your back seat. I handle my whiskey really well. Maybe too well. Short of the occasional spins and aching skull, I felt I was just a regular Joe-Shmo. So this journey to quit drinking isn't so much as me "getting sober", but more of a self-awareness that 1. I drink way too much for how small I am and 2. I think it has ruined my life, despite how much "fun" it has been.

For me, drinking is like having my ipod in my ears. Have you ever gone to the gym without your ipod? It's horrible. You are completely self-aware and aware of everything around you. It's the most awkward, uncomfortable feeling to be aware of your surroundings at the gym. Well, I think that would be reason number one why I have found a fondness for whiskey. It literally numbs the pain, makes me forget the mistakes I've made (despite the fact it's because of drinking that the mistakes were made in the fist place) and it makes me completely unaware of everything around me...including me.

Whiskey is that friend that takes you out for a good time, but is also the one who you get into a bar fight with. All fun and games til things get serious...then he bails, leaves you alone in an alley without any pants on, and steals your wallet. That's the kind of friend whiskey has been for me. It makes for a comical story hindsight, but at that moment when your standing alone, poor as shit and in the dark with your pants around your ankles, life isn't quite as fun. (Please note I have never been left any where without pants on...this is purely metaphorical).

So, this is the beginning of my journey...the moment where I reclaim my sanity, my wallet, and pull up my pants as I walk out of this dark, dank alley...praying to God I am a stronger person after all of it. I made a mess and now it is time to clean it up. And yes, all of this that I am writing is completely raw and true (sans the metaphorical images to conjure an image to make a point). I am putting myself out there because I feel like, though my drinking isn't as bad as some, it has been bad enough to make me hate myself to some degree. Whiskey will not define me. I define myself. Wish me luck, and enjoy the ride with me...it might get bumpy...