Recently someone posted on Facebook about how they were sick of hearing about people complaining and my stomach sank a little and I realized I was the first culprit.
Sometimes venting helps.
But sometimes venting makes you dwell on something that isn’t worth dwelling on.
Yeah, I get it. In the scheme of things, I ain’t much, but sometimes we struggle.
And then someone talks about shit in a bag, and things completely turn upside down.
I never heard my mom complain about being sick. I never heard her say anything, and she wanted it that way. Over the weekend, during one of the bands playing, I, for a moment, imagined her struggle and how alone she must have been because she didn’t reach out and I wondered how it felt. That definitely put my ass in perspective.
While my venting (or others’) may seem really selfish to some, to others it is a voice to their struggle as well. I am not saying I have anything to complain about because really, I am seriously blessed, but sometimes life hurts and it’s confusing and you want answers. That is what I have been striving for. And I figured if I am gonna do this, I am gonna do this right….though I do seem to keep doing it wrong. But those are my weaknesses.
I initially wasn’t going to keep blogging because I was sick of the sound of my own voice. But then I kept getting people who would come to me, thanking me for what I was doing, which people considered brave. I considered it foolish because really, now everyone knows that I am not the self- titled amazingly awesome strong chick I pretend to be. I’m human.
We all are.
And we all shit.
Just be thankful, like my friend reminded me, that at least it’s not in a bag wrapped around your waist.
Now go out and enjoy the beauty life has to offer and let go of what has been holding you back.
Easier said than done.
I know.
I’m working on that too.
Boomshockalocka! I say keep writing and stay human. My post was not in reference to you, but I'm glad you got something out of it. Life is a journey fraught with heartache and sometimes ecstacy. And sometimes, with a little perspective, heartache can be ecstacy because we are evolving into something better. And you are very brave. Braver than I. Braver than most, to share yourself like this.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely braver than I. I do wish you would change one thing however- You get on this blog and write some of the hardest things for anyone to admit to even themselves, then in the same sentence beat yourself up for it and apologize to us for feeling it.
ReplyDeleteYou keep reminding us that you're human, but I don't think it was us who forgot. Don't be so hard on yourself for having feelings. Isn't that what you set out to accomplish in the first place? And if a blog about your journey helps you to get there, then screw anyone who gives a shit otherwise.
Please keep writing :)